My Second First Steps…

Posted by: Nate
Posted: Fri, January 15 2010 at 10:15am

This week was a quiet week of office work and thus I don’t have any stories of long walks and field work to share so I thought to do something a little different.  As I’ve written about before I have two young girls, the oldest of which is not yet two years old.  My wife and I often sit in awe of the realization that there are many things that our young ones are learning to do for the first time in their lives.  For some reason it’s a very profound thought for the two of us that regardless of how many times one of the girls might smile, laugh, roll over or walk there was always the first time that they learned it as something new in their emerging world. 

Less than eight months ago my wife and I were blessed to see our oldest daughter walk for the first time.  She took her first steps as we looked on, we could not have been more proud.  That was a big day for all of us and the world has not looked the same since.  I imagine that in another six months or so we’ll be in that same situation for the second time with our youngest.  She too will climb to her feet, give us a smile and take a couple of shaky steps into our waiting arms. 

I suppose for my parents it was remarkable the day I took my first steps when I was a toddler.  Despite its impact I don’t recall that glorious day at all.  I do remember a different first step though: the second time I took my first steps.  I had been an amputee for only six days the first time I met my prosthetist.  When I told him how long it had been he laughed a little and made a comment about how I was a little eager.  He told me I had a few more weeks to wait before I could start on the process of casting my stump, fitting the socket, and beginning to walk on my prosthesis.  All I remember of those weeks was the impatience I felt about wanting to get back walking so badly.  Eventually enough time went by, the swelling in my stump shrunk enough to be workable, and it was time to get started. 

I remember the casting process was a lot like fourth grade art class: it was a considerable mess and when it was done the finished product looked somewhat like it was supposed to.  I didn’t care about the mess or what the cast looked like; all I cared about was that it got me one step closer to walking again.  Not long after I had an appointment to tweak the fitting of a test socket and after a few adjustments I was headed back for the final socket and my second chance to walk for the first time. 

I remember there being discomfort, pain, elation, disbelief, and a whole lot of feelings and emotions I couldn’t put into words.  I remember thinking it had only been a couple months since I’d lost my leg and yet it was so different than I remembered walking to be.  I remember being amazed at how much energy it took to do something as simple as walking; something that took almost no energy before my amputation. 

These memories make me curious if that’s what those first steps are like for my girls.  First it seems to be so much work for not a lot of success, then things get progressively easier, steadier, and more efficient; and before you know it you’re zipping along at a speed you hadn’t imagined possible before you began.  Watching them go through this experience makes me want to comfort them and tell them not to worry, that it gets easier as you get stronger. 

Having been fortunate to get a second chance at walking in my life I hope that others will also decide to do what it takes to learn to walk again.  I, like my little ones, reached a tipping point where one day I decided that I was going to go for it; no matter what.  I could continue to crawl my way through life or I could put my all into trying to improve my situation.  I’m glad that I took that first step; if you’re in that situation I hope you do too. 

Until next time.
Nate

Otto Bock HealthCare pays Nate a small fee for his essays.